Why We Need JOY Right Now

#TransparentTuesdays

Hi friend,

I know I keep saying this, but being a human lately (particularly for those of us in the US) has been rough.

The political climate is exhausting, and overwhelming, and just… depressing as hell. 

Every day, the news cycle seems to have some new fresh wave of horrors for us to grieve, resist, metabolize, or brace ourselves for. 

Billionaires are in control, human rights are being violated, racism is being emboldened, empathy is being explicitly villainized by the people in power, and our relationships with loved ones across the political aisle are strained to (or past) the point of breaking. 

It’s all so heavy, and if you’re anything like me (or a lot of my clients right now) then you know all too well how easy it would be—understandable, even—to let yourself drown in that heaviness.

It would be so easy to stop hoping. Stop playing. Stop resting. 

Given what’s happening to so many marginalized people right now, it might seem heartless, or even dangerous, to let yourself connect with pleasure, ease, or joy right now, especially if you happen to be hyper aware of how much unearned bodily privilege you have. And if you yourself are marginalized, you’re probably just too deep in survival mode right now to access the time, space, energy, or safety needed for such things.

Wherever you find yourself right now, it makes sense. Your reaction is valid, and I’m certainly not here to convince you to feel differently. 

But I do think it’s important to point out who benefits when we allow ourselves to drown in all that heaviness. 

Because it’s definitely not us, nor is it even the people we want to protect.

The truth is that when we get overwhelmed with stress, heartbreak, and anxiety for too long (or with too much of an intensity) we start to feel helpless, and shut down. 

• This level of overwhelm makes it harder to think clearly, make decisions, and take appropriate action to protect ourselves and others.

• This level of stress forces us outside our nervous systems’ window of tolerance, so that we have to turn to our unhealthy coping mechanisms, which keep us busy, numb, and distracted. 

• This level of fear disconnects us from ourselves and robs us of our power and our agency, which makes us more likely to just go along with the status quo, and hope someone else will step up to save us.

• This level of ongoing heartbreak is intolerable, and encourages us to slide into apathy, helplessness, and despair.

Given all that, can you see who benefits from us collapsing under the weight of all this heaviness? It’s the people in power. 

Making the people who oppose you feel too scared, sad, and helpless to take action is actually a pretty brilliant strategy, if your goal is to get away with horrific shit. And that’s exactly why we must fight against the urge to drown, and reach for joy, despite everything.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not about toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing. You cannot choose your feelings, and we are not served by trying to ignore our uncomfortable emotions, or by trying to just “think positive,” or “feel happy.” 

Our rage, grief, and fear are valid, and important, and we absolutely must allow ourselves to feel them. 

But what we mustn’t do is let them take over.

It can be tempting to imagine that stewing in these emotions somehow makes us a better, more caring, or more moral person. Setting them aside and letting ourselves connect to pleasure, play, ease, or joy can make us feel guilty, ashamed, or like we’re “not doing enough.” 

But prioritizing and connecting to pleasure, please, ease, and joy is actually exactly what we need to do to stay resourced, empowered, alive, and in touch with our humanity.

It would be so easy to stop reaching for joy because joy feels… irrational. Frivolous. Irrelevant. Even irresponsible.

But the truth is that joy matters, perhaps now more than ever.

If your goal is to resist oppression, I encourage you to consciously adopt the practice of seeking, noticing, and embodying joy and pleasure wherever possible. 

If you want to learn more about how (and why) to prioritize JOY, I invite you to join my Patreon Community Zoom Call tomorrow April 30th at 2pm ET, all about this topic!

It’s only $5 to join– just subscribe to my Patreon at that level or higher to get the zoom link (or watch the call recording after)!

And if reading this email makes you start wondering how the hell anyone manages to ever feel anything other than completely overwhelmed all the time, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who would benefit from my new self-study Patreon course called Highly Sensitive & Thriving!

This course material is specifically designed to help highly sensitive people feel less overwhelmed, reclaim their peace, and harness their superpowers– all of which can help us stay embodied, energized, and empowered as we do what needs to be done in our lives, relationships, and communities.

A brand new webinar (and set of accompanying worksheets) for Highly Sensitive & Thriving is published on Patreon on the first of each month for members at the $25/month level and higher, so subscribe now to get access to all the previous course material, plus the new material that’s dropping Thursday, on how to increase your nervous system’s “window of tolerance” as a highly sensitive person, so that you can feel more resilient and resourced!

Feel free to hit reply with any questions, and consider trying to find at least one tiny moment of pleasure or joy this week, and making it a point to savor it. 

Let it matter.

Let it be enough.

And know that by doing so, you are doing something radical, brave, and profoundly important.

Yours in joy and resistance,

Jessi