What is “Labial Puffing,” and Why Does It Matter?

**Fair warning: the topic of this blog post is not safe for work!

#TrasparentTuesdays

Hi friend,

So… I recently learned about a thing called “labial puffing.”

Yes, you read that right, and yes we’re talking about genitals over here today, so buckle up y’all! 

For more than a decade now, cultural beauty and body ideals for women’s genitals has centered around having small, almost non-existent labia. 

Influenced by the porn industry (of course), some women have come to feel insecure enough about the appearance of their vulvas (the external genitals) that there has been a rise in labiaplasties, which is a type of plastic surgery in which parts of the labia are removed or altered. And while labiaplasties can be undertaken for reasons other than aesthetics, they tend to be marketed as a way of “improving” the vulva’s appearance, so that it looks “neat and tidy,” rather than… I don’t know, human?

To be clear, I’m not opposed to plastic surgery in and of itself.

I have always sat firmly on the side of bodily autonomy, and I believe people should be allowed to modify their own bodies in whatever ways they like without judgment…genitals included. 

So I am absolutely not here to shame anyone for getting such a surgery, but as a body image coach, I have been (of course) very worried about the unhealthy and unrealistic messages women get about the way their bodies—and now genitals—are “supposed to” look, and the way the porn industry has fostered this shame and insecurity.

After all, vulvas can and should look a million different ways, and there is absolutely zero truth to the idea that one aesthetic style is better or more attractive than another! If someone is into you and your pleasure, they’ll be into the body parts that give you pleasure, so the only people these insecurities benefit are the plastic surgeons who make bank on them.

Plus, thinking of your vulva as a provider of visual pleasure for your partner is an outrageous lie taught to us under patriarchy; perhaps the most malignant and harmful of all the many ways women are taught to view themselves as sexual objects and providers of pleasure for others, rather than sexual subjects and experiencers of pleasure for themselves.

So let me be 100% clear here, and say this with my whole chest:

Your body doesn’t exist for others to look at, admire, assess, or enjoy– it’s for you to experience and enjoy the totality of your one precious life. 

Likewise, your genitals also don’t exist for others to look at, admire, assess, or enjoy—they’re for you to experience and enjoy pleasure!

Also, like bodies in general, genitals are not a damn trend! Bodies are supposed to come in all shapes and sizes, and it is some late-stage capitalist bullshit that we’re encouraged to see them as nothing more than an extension of the ever-evolving fashion trends, with curves being added and removed in different places to keep up with the “body of the moment.”

Just because financially privileged people like the Kardashians install and remove boobs and butts and everything else at will doesn’t mean we should, and (again) this view of bodies as “trends” represents the toxic, false, and harmful idea that our bodies exist to be looked at and enjoyed by others, rather than to be experienced and enjoyed for our own selves. 

Whew, ok.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let me tell you about labial puffing, and what it means for  new vulva shape and size to be trending!

Essentially, someone who wants their labia to be plumper, fuller, or smoother can now do so by either injecting the same kind of fillers we’ve been seeing injected into people’s faces, or by doing a bit of a “fat graft” situation. 

That’s right, folks. Skinny, wrinkly labia are out, and puffy, smooth labia are now in! Everyone get ready to feel bad about something new!

Sigh.

For what it’s worth, I expect this is becoming a trend now in part as a sort of backlash to the years and years of the idea that the “ideal vulva” is small, unobtrusive, dainty, and demure– trends tend to swing like a pendulum, so it makes sense that after years of non-existent labia, we would start to crave it’s opposite. (Not to mention how, in the era of ozempic and the re-rise of the “ultra-thin ideal” for women, I’d guess a lot of vulvas actually have deflated, as the volume needed to keep them puffy comes at least in part from the normal distribution of body fat.)

I’m also guessing it has something to do with the rising wave of anti-aging messaging from the beauty and skin care industries, in which everything is focused on smoothing and erasing wrinkles, and “restoring volume” to areas of the face which lose plumpness as we get older. 

Put another way, I think beauty ideals for the face are now being applied to the genitals, which are notorious for being wrinkly and crinkly, and which have the ability to go through extraordinary changes in shape, size, and “plumpness” as one gets aroused.

Like all cosmetic procedures, the marketing for this “treatment” is based entirely around playing on women’s insecurities and body shame, because the only reason for someone to pay money to puff up their labia is if they’ve come to believe there is something wrong with their labia the way it is.

As such, I’ve seen this procedure advertised as a solution to a plethora of made-up problems like “loss of volume due to aging,” “deflated appearance,” and “irregular shaped labia.” 

Like all unrealistic beauty and body ideals, this messaging is deeply rooted in the objectification of women is under patriarchy and oppressive lies such as:

• The appearance of your vulva is very important, because sex is something you provide to someone else, rather than enjoy for yourself…. so your role in sex is to just visually arouse your partner, and give them a pleasurable experience.

• There is a right and good way for a vulva to look, as well as a bad and wrong way for it to look…and how close or far you are from the ideal will determine things about your value/worth, happiness, character, ability to get your needs met, and/or what you deserve!

• There is something wrong (read: unattractive, especially to men) with the way your genitals look naturally.

• A worthy, attractive vulva should be a representation of all the rest of the feminine beauty ideal, by appearing dainty, modest, and nurturing… but also youthful, perky, cheerful, and friendly!

Oh, and that last one reminds me of something important!

When we’re sexually aroused, blood flows to our genitals and creates a naturally “puffy” and swollen appearance, for people of all genders and genitalia. I don’t think we talk about this nearly enough though, because while we all seem to know that penises get erections, few people realize that the clitoris, vulva, and vagina go through an almost identical process during sexual arousal—sometimes even increasing two or three times its normal size!

Note: if you have a vulva and don’t believe me, I challenge you to do a little experiment. Get a hand mirror out to examine your vulva while not sexually aroused, and then get yourself super turned on and examine it in the mirror again! The changes in color, shape, and size have astonished some of my clients, who always thought of their genitals as passive, uniform, and never-changing until they tried this. Also, bonus points for (gently, and with lube) exploring the inside of your vagina in the same way, because there are major internal changes in shape, size, texture, and sensation too, that go way beyond “lubricated” versus “not lubricated!”

Anyway, the reason I bring up this fascinating fact about the human body is that I think it’s a bit alarming to think about the implication of women getting plastic surgery that allows them to give the appearance of being turned on, while bypassing the actual experience of getting turned on!

Granted this probably isn’t something they’re doing consciously. It’s not like most people getting labial puffing are thinking “this will trick people into thinking I’m more aroused than I am” or anything. 

It’s just that the beauty ideal being upheld here is that of a person who is sort of permanently aroused, playing into the idea that the “ideal woman” is one who is constantly in a state of being sexually ready and available to men— ready to go whenever he wants to, and without requiring any effort or consideration for her own arousal or pleasure.

It feels to me like an artificially puffed labia is an unconscious way of trying to embody the “male fantasy,” of someone whose entire sexual satisfaction comes from turning him on, and giving him pleasure, without ever asking for anything in return.

In other words, I think this new trend might just be a creative new way of reinforcing the bullshit idea that the ideal woman (in men’s eyes) is one who has no needs, preferences, or boundaries of her own, who exists entirely for the pleasure, care, and satisfaction of men, and who requires zero effort or labor from him.

Now, is it possible that I’m reading way too much into this new trend, and it’s not that serious? 

Absolutely. 

But I think it’s important to think critically about such things, and to call out the new and sneaky ways patriarchy tries to manipulate us and rob us of our full humanity when we see them.

As a final word on this, please know that you deserve sexual partners who believe tending to your arousal and pleasure is not a chore, or a favor, or a preamble to the “main event,” but rather an honor, and a privilege, and a source of pleasure, arousal, and satisfaction for them.

(And yes, despite what patriarchy and porn teach us about this, there are tons of men like this out there, who would be devastated if their partner wanted to skip past her own arousal, or approached sex as something she did for him!)

Ok, well…I guess that’s everything I have to say about vulvas today.

Feel free to message me with your thoughts, or just carry on with your day now, just knowing that this trend exists!

Big hug,

Jessi

PS If you want help breaking free from body insecurity and self-objectification (in or out of the bedroom) apply for coaching with me here!