Editor’s note: These posts were written back when my brand name was Remodel Fitness. I’ve decided to include them here without editing them, in the interest of…well… transparency. 😉
When I launched Remodel Fitness two and a half years ago, I didn’t have a solid vision for what it would turn into.
What was rock solid was my mission statement and my target demographic. I knew for sure who I wanted to help, and how I wanted to help them. That clarity has guided me through all kinds of chaos, as I figured out what I wanted to create and how I wanted it to literally exist in the world.
We all have our strengths, and business structure stuff is NOT one of mine. Which was one of the biggest reasons I actually named my brand Remodel Fitness actually, instead of, like, “Jessi Kneeland Fitness.” I didn’t want to be the whole brand, I wanted the brand to be all about body positivity and cutting edge exercise science.
I never meant to be known for such much of who I am, but once I started writing, and people started reading, it became evident really quickly that
my transparency and authenticity about my own stories were hitting the right spots for my readers, and helping them explore their own in a new way.
I got more and more comfortable as time went on sharing incredibly intimate details of my life, past, heart, and soul.
These days I hardly so much as blink before posting a pouring-out of my heart, a confession of my deepest secrets, or a photo or video of myself in my body.
Sometimes I consider how strange it is that many of you guys get to “know” me in this way, but that I don’t “know” you back. (That’s actually one of the reasons I created the Women Who Empower Other Women, Unite! Facebook group- because I wanted to have some more personal conversations and access with you in a private environment.)
Anyway, my point is that at this point:
I am my brand. My body is my brand. My feelings are my brand. My thoughts are my brand.
And with that truth comes a responsibility that I take very seriously, which is to always share and acknowledge my own imperfections. That’s why I started doing these #TransparentTuesdays emails in the first place. To share my truth, the whole truth, and nothing but my truth.
Today, my honest truth is that I suck sometimes.
I’m powerful, and joyful, and beautiful, and expansive… and sometime I just totally suck.
It’s tough to show that with social media, because I’m not sure how I would even go about capturing a moment in which I was just sucking as a person.
I have plenty of moments of failure and embarrassment and shame and pettiness and smallness.
It’s even tough with blogging sometimes, because I don’t see my failings as especially relevant or interesting most of the time. (Though when I do, I share with open arms.)
There are areas of my life that make me feel like a complete idiot, a failure, and like there’s something deep down inside me that’s broken. There are people who I give my power to sometimes who don’t deserve it, and there are habits I allow that are nowhere near healthy for my body.
But that’s what it means to be human.
I know you have so much good inside you. You have so much courage, and strength, and creativity, and wisdom. You’re full of compassion, and you’re amazing to be around. You’re a good listener. You make people laugh. You’re beautiful when light up talking about or doing something you love. You’re so big and expansive, you can’t be contained. You’re incredible.
And also, sometimes, you suck.
We all do. And depending on where you focus your attention, you get to choose which parts of you are given power and importance; which parts you decide are really you, and which parts are just what happens when you forget?
I choose to be big and powerful and expansive and joyful.
That’s who I believe I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t totally suck sometimes.
Which will you choose?
Jessi Kneeland Get strong. Feel confident. Look amazing.
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