Relationships: My New Obsession
- jlk399
- Jun 10
- 6 min read
Hi friend,
Fifteen years ago, when I first started writing and coaching about body image issues, I did so because body image issues had played a huge role in my own journey.
I was a personal trainer, and I did see a real need for this work in the world. But deep down I was drawn to the topic not just intellectually, but from a place of deep personal resonance.
My fascination with body image and self-worth struggles was fueled by my own experiences, and the more I learned, the more obsessed I became.
Eventually, I decided to leave the fitness industry and build my brand around body neutrality, because I simply couldn’t think about anything else. And long after I had learned to apply body neutrality in my own life, I was still obsessed with understanding how it applied to everyone and everything else.
How are our relationships with our bodies and ourselves impacted by…
Our social conditioning, gender, and sexuality?
Our individual experiences of trauma?
Our personal values and personalities?
Oppression? Privilege? Shame? Trust? Power?
And don’t get me wrong, this is all still fascinating to me. But over the years, I’ve found it more and more difficult to come up with relevant stories from my own life to share in these areas… which makes it harder to create compelling and authentic content that resonates with my audience!
Then after the publication of my book (which felt like it closed the chapter of research/experimentation to ensure my body neutrality system can apply to anyone), I found myself increasingly obsessed with a different kind of relationship—our relationships with other people.
In some ways, this probably shouldn’t have been a surprising development, and it wasn’t even a particularly big departure from the work I’d already been doing.
After all, our relationships with other people play a huge role in our sense of who we are, what gives us value, and what we deserve.
At some point in our work together, the vast majority of my body neutrality clients have had to focus on exploring, healing, and improving their relationships with friends, partners, and family members.
And I’ve always loved this part of the work, but it wasn’t until I met my fiance that I found myself obsessing over the specific intricacies of attachment relationships and partnership dynamics, for the same reason I once obsessed over body image—because of my own personal struggles.
I found out quickly that while I’d been partnered before, I didn’t actually have much experience really operating as a team, or navigating the deep, vulnerable work a relationship requires to thrive together. And like most things we haven’t practiced… I found that I kind of sucked at it.
Luckily my curiosity took over, and I started to rabbit-hole, learning and exploring everything I could about attachment, communication, intimacy, and other relationship skills. Eventually—just like with body image—I found myself unable to think about much else.
I often wish I could share all my unfiltered thoughts and experiences about partnership on social media in real time like I used to about body image, but it’s different this time because other people are involved.
Back in the day I was only ever putting my own vulnerability on display, and airing my own dirty laundry. Now I have to consider other people’s privacy, boundaries, and feelings when telling my stories, and I just haven’t figured that all out yet.
Plus, for a long time I felt like I was still too deep in the trenches—still learning and processing and integrating—to fully do these topics justice by sharing.
But lately I’ve been feeling like my own personal growth and healing around relationships has finally caught up with my education and experience as a coach, and I’m finally ready to “come out” publicly about my new passion. So…
Hi my name is Jessi, and I’m obsessed with helping people thrive in their relationships!
I love helping people identify and remove their blocks to both giving and receiving love, so they can experience more intimacy, trust, and security in their relationships.
I love helping couples figure out what each person needs to feel safe, loved, respected, and supported by their partner, and create a shared vision for their partnership.
I love helping people open their hearts back up to their partner after breaches of trust, unmet needs, cycles of conflict, or life transitions have caused their hearts to close.
I love helping people explore the all-important question of “is this partner/relationship right for me?” from a place of radical self-trust, compassion, open-heartedness, and personal power.
I love helping people explore and express their deepest authentic desires, needs, and truths when it comes to sexuality and attachment, and to move toward more fulfillment, expansiveness and wholeness… even when (or perhaps especially when) those desires, needs, and truths break from tradition or social expectations.
And now that I’ve come out of the closet about this, I’ve decided the time is right to finally offer relationship coaching for couples!
Because this is a bit of a departure from my normal coaching packages, I’m making this a one-time offer for three couples only, and I’m setting the cost at a steep discount in the hopes that you might be willing to take the plunge, and then provide some feedback about the experience at the end (either privately or publicly) so that I can continue to improve the structure!
If you and your partner are interested in working on your relationship together, here are the options:
Option #1: You’re Looking for Help with a Specific Issue
If you and your partner are struggling with a specific issue or topic—like navigating dissimilar sex drives, getting on the same page around parenting/finances, or rebuilding trust after a rupture— this is the option for you!
In this mini-intensive coaching package, you’ll get four couple’s coaching sessions. In these sessions, the three of us will meet for an hour over zoom to explore the specific topic or issue you’re struggling with in a way that invites clarity, compassion, and connection… and come up with specific strategies for addressing it together.
What you get:
4 couple’s coaching sessions on Zoom (to be scheduled and used within 2 months), plus the recording to rewatch.
What to expect:
Our sessions will be focused on helping each partner identify and express their deeper feelings and needs, understand the other person’s feelings and needs, pinpoint the ultimate goal (and the blocks/obstacles to that goal) with respect to this topic, and identify any skills that need to be worked on (or strategies that need to be explored) to get there together.
You may leave the sessions with “homework” to move you toward your goals as a couple between sessions.
What it costs:
Normally 4 coaching sessions for a single person would cost $1200, and I expect that couple’s sessions will eventually cost more than individual sessions… but this time around, I’m offering this whole package for just $795, or 2 payments of $400.
Option #2: You’re Seeking to Decrease Conflict, Improve Communication, or Increase Overall Intimacy
If you and your partner are struggling with bigger-picture issues around conflict, communication, connection, or the overall satisfaction of your relationship—this is the option for you.
This package gives us the time and space to get deep into the weeds of what’s going on for you as a couple, starting with a 1:1 coaching call for each partner and followed by six couple’s coaching sessions with the three of us, where we’ll be striving to identify and address the deeper underlying reasons for conflict, disconnection, or dissatisfaction.
What you get:
1 individual coaching session for each partner on Zoom, plus the recording.
6 couple’s coaching sessions on Zoom (to be scheduled and used within three months), plus the recording.
What to expect:
The individual sessions will be a place for you to share your relationship concerns, goals, and experiences in private, so that I have a better sense of who you are, what you’re struggling with, and what you’re hoping for out of coaching before we dive into our couple’s sessions.
The couple’s sessions will be focused on identifying core relationship issues, unmet needs, and the underlying root of your conflict cycle, as well as your goals as a couple, and any blocks or obstacles that are in the way. Once identified, we’ll explore strategies as needed for improving communication, cultivating trust and intimacy, breaking out of conflict patterns, increasing compassion and connection, and enhancing relationship security and satisfaction overall.
You may leave the sessions with “homework” to move you toward your goals as a couple between sessions.
What it costs:
Normally 8 total coaching sessions for an individual would cost $2400… but this time around I’m offering this package for just $1495, or 3 payments of $500.
If you’re interested in couple’s coaching, fill out a coaching application here, and we can schedule a quick call or chat via email to see if it’s a good fit and talk about next steps!
And if this isn’t your vibe, no worries!
I’ll probably be talking a lot more about relationships here soon, and maybe even rebooting my social media presence a bit, but I’m curious to hear if this is a direction that interests you first!
I’d love to hear from you, so please go ahead and send me a message to share your thoughts! If enough of you are like “nah, I’m just here for the body neutrality content,” then maybe I’ll set up a separate mailing list for relationship content.
Either way, I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope you have a beautiful week!
Big hug,
Jessi
Comments