Hey friend,
This election has me thinking a lot about misinformation, disinformation, and—most especially— magical thinking.
A lot of folks are upset right now that so many other people in our country believe things that aren’t true, and I certainly understand why.
Both as individuals and as a society, we’ve never been very good at making space for differing beliefs. So much so that the United States was founded on the concept of “freedom of religion,” which was a radical stance in global history, because it was pretty wild at the time to be like… hey guys, what if it was okay for us to all believe in different things??
Given the rise of disinformation over the last decade or so, it seems like as a society we’ve gone from respecting (or at least attempting to respect) other people’s right to believe something different from us, to villainizing it.
I think this is in part because the internet has made it so that we can see the sausage being made– we can see the exact content that convinces people to believe things we believe to be wrong, and nowadays we can make a pretty accurate guess about a person’s beliefs, just by knowing the kind of content they consume, and the sources from which they get their news. Historically, we’ve never had this kind of bizarre insight into the creation of other people’s beliefs, and it can be frustrating to see how we’re all interpreting the same people, events, and issues through such a completely different lens, and coming out with such different conclusions.
It’s very tempting, under these circumstances, to think that our own beliefs reflect a deeply objective, impartial, and factual perspective, while other people’s beliefs reflect lies, manipulation, brainwashing, and of course “magical thinking.”
In this way, I think we’ve unfortunately come to think of “magical thinking” as a bad thing.
Magical thinking has gotten a bad reputation as an embarrassing sign of brainwashing or stupidity, rather than what it really is: a beautiful and natural way in which our brains are wired to understand the world and create meaning, through imagination and story-telling.
Think of all the uplifting and beneficial beliefs you might personally hold, that could be called “magical thinking” by someone who doesn’t believe them– the kind of beliefs that are impossible to ever prove or disprove, but which undeniably enhance your life in some way!
Maybe you believe each person has One True Soulmate, and take comfort and security from the belief that you and your partner met because you were predestined to fall in love. Maybe you believe the way the planets were positioned at the exact moment of your birth determines your personality or life experiences, and this brings you peace and clarity. Maybe you believe each person was born for a specific reason, and find a huge amount of joy and purpose in doing whatever it is you consider to be your divine “calling.”
All of these beliefs are unprovable, as well as undisprovable, but these kinds of “magical thinking” type beliefs can have important benefits, helping support things like our mental health, self-worth, relationships, and sense of purpose and belonging!
Clearly, there’s nothing inherently wrong or bad with magical thinking in and of itself, given these examples, right?
So then… what’s the problem? Why is it so bad or dangerous to believe things that can neither be proven nor disproven? And why have other people’s beliefs come to feel so intolerable, and worthy of contempt?
Well the problem isn’t so much with the belief itself, but with the resulting impact of that belief.
You see, we can accept and respect all kinds of different beliefs— as long as those beliefs don’t end up hurting people.
As far as I’m concerned, we all have a right to believe in unprovable nonsense, which is to say, we have a right to indulge in whatever magical thinking we like, as long as those beliefs don’t result in the infringement of other people’s rights or dignity.
The truth is that we all engage in various kinds of magical thinking. We’re simply wired for this kind of meaning-making, so trying to be more objective, intelligent, or “logical” isn’t going to stop us, or change people’s beliefs. So instead of trying to convince people to stop believing in things that aren’t true, I’ve come up with a little test to see if your beliefs are ok or not.
Very simply, all you have to do is ask yourself: does this belief result in anyone being hurt? If not, go forth and enjoy your belief! If so, it’s probably time to pause and reconsider.
For what it’s worth, I suggest including yourself on the list of people who count as “anyone,” because I’d personally rather use this creative phenomenon of the human mind to indulge in beliefs that make my life better… but I also have to acknowledge that this isn’t always possible. Simply having the capacity to indulge in subjective, unprovable beliefs means we will inevitably end up believing shit that makes our lives worse sometimes. (For example: when we believe ourselves to be completely unlovable, or those low moments where we believe we magically “made” something bad happen.)
Obviously that kind of negative magical thinking isn’t great—and I would definitely recommend working to dismantle those beliefs if they pop up for you a lot— but at least they don’t hurt anyone but the believer, which is something.
To see how this little “magical thinking safety-and-acceptability test” works in action, let’s look at the popular (but unprovable) belief that Jesus was the son of God, and died for our sins.
If this belief only inspires someone to feel and act in ways that are more loving, kind, generous, and respectful of others, I’d say it passes the test! If, on the other hand, it causes someone to have a more negative view or treatment of gay people, transgender people, sex workers, or people of other races, cultures, or religions—or to wage wars—well then it fails the test, and should be re-examined.
If a belief can’t be objectively and clearly proven (or even if it can, really), consider what impact it has on you, what actions it leads to, and how it will impact others.
Does believing in astrology have the ability to hurt anyone? Probably not, but it’s worth considering how this belief makes you think and feel, and how it makes you treat other people– does it make you a better, happier, or more fulfilled version of yourself? Does it make you more or less empathetic, kind, present, or judgmental? Does it pass the safety and acceptability test for magical thinking?
How about believing in something like “everyone gets what they deserve,” or “everyone is secretly mad at me,” or “I’ll finally be happy when I lose weight?”
Instead of arguing about whether your unprovable beliefs are objectively right or wrong, embrace the fact that they’re subjective, and get in the habit of checking in with their impact instead. How does this belief make you feel? What actions does it lead to? And does it, or does it not, pass the test?
If more of us did this, the world would be a better place by far.
Big hug,
Jessi
PS If you find yourself with any beliefs that make your life worse—for example, that you’re ugly and gross, or unworthy of love and success—you can apply for coaching with me here to start changing them!
Comments