Hi friend,
Trump won, and I honestly don’t know what to say.
Like many of you, I’ve been through all the emotions this past week. Anger and frustration. Fear and anxiety. Sadness and grief. And in between all that: numb, numb, numb.
There is a new level of recognition and reckoning happening right now about who we are as a country, and it’s dark.
While it’s true that Kamala’s campaign was far from perfect, and that blatant lies and manipulation have convinced a lot of people to vote against their own best interests, I do see this election as representative of the majority of people in the US in a way that feels quite different from 2016. And since democracy is all about representing the majority, this election tells us a lot about what we stand for as a country, what (and who) we value, and where we’re going.
With that in mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we’re supposed to make sense of democracy, when 51% of people are able to elect government representation to carry out their vision, and their vision is exactly the opposite of what the other 49% want?
If democracy is supposed to ensure that the will of the people is represented, how do we understand the fact that 49% of our country is now essentially unrepresented? Are we supposed to take comfort in knowing democracy is functioning the way it’s supposed to, even if the “will of the majority” seems to be about stripping the other 49% of power, freedom, dignity, and protection?
To be clear, I do realize this is a massive oversimplification of the situation, and also that this is not a new issue in our country. Minorities have always been politically disenfranchised because they’re a minority, and there is a lot of nuance to the conversation of how a healthy democracy can and should work. But it’s a lot to consider, and a lot to process.
If I’m being completely honest, I was really hoping when I sat down to write this today that I might find some uplifting and inspiring words for you about all this as I went along… but it seems I have none. So instead, I want to just take a moment to grant you permission.
You are allowed to feel all of your feelings right now, and you are also allowed to push those feelings away, using any strategy you have available.
You are allowed to cry and rage and obsess over the news, and you are also allowed to ignore the whole thing and retreat into yourself for a while.
You’re allowed to dissect every detail in an attempt to wrap your head around how this happened, and you’re also allowed to numb out with wine, TV, online shopping, doom-scrolling, or whatever else helps you get by.
You’re allowed to cope with action, and you’re also allowed to cope with inaction. (Side note: eventually we will all need to find our way back to action, but please don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for falling apart right now.)
In short, you are allowed to cope however the fuck you need to.
I say all of this because the very last thing we need right now is more judgment—of ourselves for how we’re handling this news, or of other people for how they’re handling it.
Take care of yourself in whatever ways you can, and be compassionate with yourself around any ways you can’t. (And whenever possible, give other people the space and grace to cope and process in whatever way they need too.)
Lastly, I want to invite you to my live patreon community zoom call, where we’ll be processing and exploring our reactions to the election, on Saturday November 16th at 11am ET.
All you have to do to join the live call (or watch the call recording) is sign up for my Patreon at the $5/month level or higher here.
This call won’t have a specific presentation or talking points, but I’ll be holding a safe, private, and grounded space for anything and everything that may be coming up for you around the election.
I hope to see you there, and if you can’t make it then I hope you have lots of support around you right now.
Big hug,
Jessi
PS: If you’re looking for more individualized support right now, you can also apply for coaching with me here!
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