Dressing for Embodiment & Self-Trust

#TransparentTuesday

Hi friend,

Today I want to share a small but powerful embodiment practice: using the clothes you choose to listen to, and connect with, your body. 

Sound simple? It is, kind of. But there’s actually something pretty profound about paying attention to how different fabrics, stretches, cuts, and shapes make you feel, and then consciously choosing clothes that support, affirm, excite, or comfort you… instead of clothes that “flatter” you.

We live in a world that tends to treat clothes as tools meant to adorn, enhance, hide, or disguise our bodies (especially for women!), as if what we put on our body is meant to please the viewer, rather than the wearer. 

But what if we flipped that? What if clothing became a means of self-attunement — a gentle daily way of honoring and listening to your intuition and your body?

Think about one of your go-to pieces of clothing, like that one pair of leggings or jeans that you’re always reaching for. Next time you put it on, take a moment to notice how it feels, and the literal sensations you have while it’s on your body.

Is the fabric soft or stiff, smooth or scratchy, light or heavy? Is it hugging, holding, skimming, or floating around your curves? Does it breathe and bend with your movements, or does it pinch and tug? Does it draw your attention anywhere, in either a positive or negative way?

There’s no judgment or wrong answers to this part, because your preference for how things fit and feel will be individual to you. Some people prefer their jeans to be stretchy and supportive, while others like the rigid sensation of raw denim, for example. I just want you to take a moment to notice the literal sensations of the clothing on your body.

Then, shift your attention to how those sensations impact you.

Can you notice a shift in your mood, energy, confidence, or self-talk based on any of the sensations this item of clothing gives you?

For example, maybe cheap or scratchy fabrics immediately make you feel distracted or annoyed. Maybe stiff or tight materials make you feel tense or insecure, or trigger thoughts of feeling insecure, or wanting to lose weight. 

For one person, the tight-but-buttery-smooth knit of a compression waistband might make them feel calm and secure, while for another it might make them feel stressed and self-conscious. Wearing a form-fitting dress and heels might cause one person to feel oppressed and inauthentic, while it makes another feel energized and ready to kick ass. 

The specific impact is different for everyone, but most clothes cause us to have some kind of reaction, even if we’re not consciously aware of it. Some clothes feel like comfort or joy, and putting them on makes us feel good, while others have the opposite effect. Some clothes feel like a soft yes from your body, and others like a soft no.

I invite you to pay attention to how the sensations of your clothing impact you. 

Think of how your clothes make you feel as a meaningful source of feedback for you from your body, and make sure the impact of your clothes aligns with your intent. 

If loose or stretchy fabric makes you feel energized, free, or secure, for example, then those kinds of clothes might be the right choice when you go to the gym. But if a perfectly tailored suit makes you feel empowered and confident as a professional, then that might be the right choice for a big presentation at work!

Either way, just notice the impact your clothes have on you, and let that guide your choices. 

This isn’t frivolous, by the way. This is a way of validating your own inner experiences, affirming that how you feel matters, and centering yourself in your choices and your life. 

By making this a practice, you are constantly telling your body “I’m listening,” and consistently reminding yourself that you are worthy of attention, care, and respect.

Now I want you to think about an item of clothing that you often try on when getting ready, but never decide to wear. Put it on and pay attention. What are the sensations on your body, and how do those sensations impact you?

For what it’s worth, I do this all the time with dresses. 

As a lover of fashion, I often admire the cool style of people who wear dresses, and I often try them on in hopes of looking cool too. But 99% of the time, the minute I actually put a dress on my body, I notice that I suddenly feel more irritable, insecure, or distracted. 

Maybe it’s the air around my legs, the lack of a waistband, or the way it moves. Maybe it’s the years of gender dysphoria of looking more feminine. Wherever it comes from, the end result is that even though I often do genuinely think I look cool, my body almost always says no.

And that’s ok! Because while experimenting with fashion and style can be fun, listening to and respecting my body is my absolute top value.

If a piece of clothing makes you feel distracted, irritable, uncomfortable, inauthentic, or insecure, that doesn’t mean anything about you or your body, other than the fact that it’s simply not a good fit for you today. 

Overriding these messages on a regular basis tells your body that you’re either not listening, or you simply don’t care… and both are going to have a negative impact on your relationship with yourself and your body.

If you frequently wear clothes that feel like a “no” from your body—especially if you’re doing so because it’s “flattering,” trendy, or seems like what you “should” be wearing—you are constantly signaling to yourself that:

1. Your feelings and experiences are invalid or unimportant. 

2. You are undeserving of attention, care, or respect. (Let alone comfort, pleasure, or joy!)

3. Other people’s experience of you is more important than your own experience.

Do you see how something that seems relatively unimportant (clothing) can actually become incredibly important, when we consider how it’s impacting our relationship with ourselves and our bodies??

I invite you to try this practice, and see what changes: pay attention to how different clothes feel, and how those sensations impact you, and then use that information to choose yourself. 

Use clothes to practice centering your own comfort, needs, values, power, and worth. Use them to center your intuition, and the little whispers of “yes” and “no” that your body gives you. 

And be sure to center these things even if (especially if!) they’re not “flattering” or “trendy.” 

Choose yourself over fitting in.

Choose yourself over beauty/body ideals, and the male gaze.

Choose yourself over gender expectations.

Choose yourself… over and over and over.

Big hug,

Jessi