How I’m prepping to THRIVE in my 40s. #TransparentTuesday Hey friend, My “half birthday” is coming up, which means I’m only about 6 months away from turning 40, and halfway through the year-long “glow-up” experiment I set for myself! I haven’t written much about this experiment yet but it’s been incredibly rewarding, and now that I’m halfway through I’ve decided I’m ready to share! To be clear, I know the term “glow-up” is most often used to describe an “aesthetic improvement

I think the Gottmans got this one wrong. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, This week I heard a disgustingly fatphobic clip from Mel Robbins interviewing John and Julie Gottman, and I am PISSED. If you don’t know who these people are, Mel Robbins is an annoying “white girl feminism”-style motivational speaker and author who I’m not a fan of…. so it’s really not a big surprise to me that her work wouldn’t click with me. But John and Julie Gottman happen to be world-renowned clini

The hidden assumptions behind "romantic" gestures. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, A few weeks ago, a man tried to twirl me, and I hated it. No shade to anyone who enjoys being twirled here—I know plenty of people who do! And maybe you’ll hear this story and be like “Jessi it’s just a twirl, it’s not that deep.” But as a person whose literal job it is to point out when things are deeper than they appear, I have thoughts, so buckle up! Ok, so what happened was that this guy and

Seeing ourselves helps us heal. Seeing each other helps us grow. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, I'm reading a book right now called Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao, and I am completely obsessed with it. It’s the first book in a YA science fantasy trilogy, which is very much my jam already. But then it’s also written by a Chinese non-binary author, it features a non-binary protagonist (so rare!!) and it takes ideas that are already deeply interesting to me—think: gender, identity

Approval ≠ Understanding #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, Lately I’ve been thinking about the subtle differences between feeling validated, and feeling seen… and why we often think we crave one, when we actually need the other. In my experience, people tend to conflate the two because they can feel similar from the outside. Both can calm us down when we’re upset. Both can make us feel more connected and less alone. Both can make us feel like we’re being understood, valued, or

Good news for women's health! (For once.) #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, I came across a piece of genuinely good news in women's health recently, and given the state of, well… everything… I feel like we should take our wins where we can get them! What happened is that—after more than a decade of debate, consultation, research, and ferocious advocacy—the condition formerly known as PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) has officially been renamed PMOS: Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovari

Ashley St. Clair, accountability, and the question I can't stop thinking about. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, I’ve been fascinated by Ashley St. Clair’s TikTok content lately. Now, if you don’t know who Ashley St. Clair is…honestly, that's probably healthy. Ashley was a prominent MAGA influencer for years who started at the very young age of 19 to build a public platform creating incredibly problematic and harmful right-wing content. She was particularly known for her anti-t

They’re all getting work done to look the SAME. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, Recently while watching a reality TV show, it took me nearly half the season before I was able to tell three out of the four female leads apart from each other. This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but this kind of thing happens to me all the time, and I do actually think I must have some kind of mild face blindness. (If I’m starting a new TV show or watching a movie, it generally takes me a li

The Role of Gender on Moral Identity #TransparentTuesday