And after 15 years of this work, I finally see what connects it all. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, If you’re a regular reader of my work, then you’ve probably noticed a pivot in the topics I’ve been writing about lately, and today I want to share why that is! I’ve been focusing less on body neutrality recently, and focusing a lot more on internalized patriarchy, gender performance and expression, relationships between men and women, and the increasingly popular practice of “

What this practice actually MEANS. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, I’ve been writing a lot lately about the importance of “decentering men,” but I haven’t really stopped to actually define and explain this term for anyone who hasn’t come across it yet. Decentering men is basically just the practice of consciously shifting the primary focus of a person’s life away from the male gaze, male validation, and patriarchal expectations. This specific term happens to be gaining some p

Turns out Self-Objectification goes WAY beyond body image. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, If you’re here reading my work, then you probably already know how damaging internalized patriarchy and self-objectification are on your body image. You already know that thinking of your body as “decorative” or “existing for the male gaze” leads to feeling ashamed of perfectly normal body parts, obsessing over your appearance, and feeling like you need to be thinner, prettier, younger,

Two clients. Two very different marriages. The same liberation. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, Today I want to tell you—with their permission—the story of two women who came to me for body image coaching, and ended up with very different results. These two women had a lot in common—both identified with the Self-Objectifer Body Image Avatar, although they each had different “wings.” Both were married (to men). Both struggled with having a lower libido than he did, and a feeli

Men get excuses; women get extra work. The “Cornell 7,” feminist rage, and a case for decentering men. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, The “Cornell 7” story has taken over my brain this last week, with my entire social media filled with news and responses, many of my clients needing to talk about what it’s bringing up for them, and my own ever-present feminist rage shifting back and forth between fury and despair about it. The allegations of unfathomable sexual violence, the m

What HRT taught me about fatigue, effort, and the limits of my own neutrality. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, I’m not gonna lie, my thirties haven’t been easy. Between COVID, health and hormone issues, moving across the country and getting hit with a major depressive episode, tax and business drama, and navigating (then ending) two very difficult partnerships…I feel like I spent most of this decade putting out fires, recovering from putting out fires, and wondering if I would

…does that mean you SHOULD? #TransparentTuesday What If You Actually Want to Change Your Body? Hi friend, After last week’s podcast episode about GLP-1s sparked countless conversations with people about their own health goals, I keep thinking about what it means for people to have the option to change something now, that they previously didn’t have the option to change. In my field, we’ve known for a long time that diets don’t work, and there was previously zero reliable inte

I’ve been afraid to write about this! #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, So—kinda big reveal time—I’ve been on a GLP-1 for a little while now. And I really want to tell you about it. I’ve been very worried about writing this, because I’m so aware that GLP-1s are incredibly polarizing, and that it could be upsetting, triggering, or potentially harmful for some readers to read about my experience. After all, GLP-1s are marketed (and heralded) as a sort of magical “weight loss dru

I’m searching for my next big problem to solve. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, I think I’m getting ready for a big business rebrand soon! For a handful of years now—more or less since my book was published—I’ve been feeling a persistent pull to evolve the direction of my work, my business, and my brand. It’s not that I necessarily want to move away from body image or body neutrality entirely (although I’m open to that). It’s more like I’ve allowed my work to become very wide

Purity culture just taught us it should be. #TransparentTuesday Hi friend, Hot take: sex isn’t “special.” Now hear me out, because I’m not telling you what sex is (or should be) for you. I’m just asking that together we examine and dismantle a bit of a sacred cow: the belief that sex is (or should be) special. Years ago, a client was telling me about an intimate experience in which she participated in certain sexual activities but drew the line at participating in others, an