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{TransparentTuesday} Vulnerability is a skill

Welcome to 2017, my darlings.

I know you’re going to be inundated this week with how-to-succeed new year’s resolution material and advice, as well as anti-resolution material and advice telling you that you’re perfect just the way you are.

Instead of weighing in on resolutions, I want to suggest something for you to think about:

Our protective mechanisms protect the things we most tenderly desire, and also keep us from getting those things.

Think about it; you wouldn’t bother build walls to protect something unless it was almost painfully important to you, right? A desire for love, a desire for connection, a desire for approval, or attention, or to be seen.

And once you build those walls to protect it, the thing you most desire becomes impossible.

Like a princess in a tower, you have kept her “safe,” but she will never live. You get to protect yourself from getting hurt, but you never give yourself the opportunity to be satisfied.

I once had a client named Ariel who desperately craved meaningful connection.

In our first session, Ariel  told me that she felt isolated, disconnected, and lonely. Despite trying to do practical stuff like “reach out more,” she felt devoid of that soul-to-soul connection she so deeply desired.

We eventually figured out that Ariel had a habit of waiting to feel connected before she felt safe enough to get vulnerable and “reveal herself” in any meaningful way.

In order to feel connected, Ariel needed to feel like the person totally “got” her. She needed to feel seen and liked. But the person people were seeing and liking when they met her wasn’t really her. It was this safe, protected representative of her.

Which meant that even when people really liked her, they didn’t really “know” or “get” her. So Ariel’s true authentic self remained hidden, still waiting for that special connection with someone to see her in order for her to be willing to be seen.

This is a pattern I see in almost all my clients: the protective mechanisms or “armor” that once served them (think: middle school) has become the very thing standing between them and what they most deeply desire.

What we most deeply desire always makes us feel intensely vulnerable.

When we truly desire something, we have something to lose. It makes us feel exposed and silly and ashamed and embarrassed and just so naked.

But without being willing to get vulnerable, you will never stand a chance of getting those tenderly important desires met.

If you put yourself out there and bear that unbearable vulnerability, you do.

Daring to get more vulnerable is always a worthy pursuit. Getting comfortable with the discomfort of vulnerability is a skill that is always worth deepening. Ultimately, it’s the skill of getting what you want.

What armor did you wear in 2016 that you’re ready to take off now?

You can kickstart your inner growth and healing in 2017 while moving at your own pace through the eight topics:

  1. Authentic Self-Care

  2. How to Choose an Empowered Narrative

  3. How to be Unapologetic

  4. How to be Present

  5. How to be Authentic

  6. How to be Relaxed

  7. How to be Warm

  8. How to Embrace the Ebb & Flow.

This project is only for those who are willing to get vulnerable.

The self-study course includes weekly audio and PDF versions of the topic, along with a printable worksheet with journal questions and practice suggestions. This option is perfect for a self-motivated woman looking for some structure in her self-exploration and healing as she heads into 2017. (Just hit reply to join!)

If this appeals to you but you’re ready for an individualized transformation experience, you might be a good candidate for my new Empowered Women Project mentorship program!

I’ve discovered that while the EWP material itself has an incredible impact on my clients, the most powerful transformations happen when the material is combined with personal and private coaching.

In the mentorship program, you’ll have access to all the self-study material to lay the foundation, but you’ll also get personalized individual coaching calls with me.

The calls are designed to integrate what you’re learning, help you laser focus in on the most important task or area to work on, and help you address and overcome the deep and powerful inner demons that have a tendency to surface when you do this kind of work. EWP mentorship offers a MUCH deeper dive into the material, way more support and personalization, and ultimately a more powerful and transformational experience.

If you’re interested in reserving one of these EWP mentorship spots, hit reply and we’ll talk.

No matter what you decide to work on or accept or continue to deepen in 2017, please just know that I see you, support you, and believe in you.

It’s gonna be a good year. 😉


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