Editor’s note: These posts were written back when my brand name was Remodel Fitness. I’ve decided to include them here without editing them, in the interest of…well… transparency. 😉
I’ve spent the last five days in Toronto to celebrate the wedding of some dear friends.
Despite getting violently ill the moment I landed, it was a pretty amazing weekend. The best part was being re-united with the crew I lived with in Costa Rica this winter, including Molly Galbraith of Girls Gone Strong. (And if you don’t know Molly, or Girls Gone Strong yet, I HIGHLY recommend you check them out!)
Molly and I are very aligned in the work we do. She is a powerful, confident, hilarious woman who inspires the absolute shit out of me. The GGS movement is a force to be reckoned with, and she has put together an advisory board of some of the smartest women in the industry to make sure the content they create is empowering, body-positive, and scientifically sound. She’s a badass, no doubt.
But she doesn’t have everything all figured out.
I say this only because during a conversation with her yesterday we realized so many people look at us and say “I can’t wait to have it all figured out, like you do.”
People see the work we do, our social media feeds, our blog posts, and they think we have all our shit figured out. They think we eat super healthy and clean, lift like beasts, love and accept our bodies unconditionally, and feel confident all the time.
But that’s just not true.
We are all imperfect. We are all always somewhere in a process. There is no end point, ever.
I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to reiterate this message from as many confident, successful, badass women as possible. It’s important to let go of the idea that anyone ever gets it all figured out.
No matter how badass your WCW might seem, I guarantee you there is some stuff she totally sucks at. I know that because every single one of us does. I personally suck at planning things, world geography, understanding what I want from an intimate relationship, and anything involving manners or “polite” etiquette. We all have our stuff.
My point is that often we only see the good stuff about other people. We see their accomplishments, or the work they’ve done to love and accept their bodies, and it feels like they’re “there.” It feels like they’re “done.”
People do this to me all the time- they assume I’m done. Same with Molly. But I can tell you for sure, the women you’re most likely to think are “done” are also the ones who do the MOST work on themselves, bravely and consistently.
You’re only done when you decide to stop digging, and those of us who pursue endless growth will never stop digging.
That just means we have more to consider, uncover, examine, assess, and explore. We have more to challenge, discuss, research, debate, and express. We aim to learn and improve, but never to fix ourselves. There is always another layer under this one, but that’s not because you’re not working hard enough or because you’re not “there” yet. It’s simply because there are an infinite number of layers.
As Molly said today: “I’m here, now. But I’m not there, yet. And I won’t ever be there.” Because there is no “there.”
“There” is a myth.
What would it feel like to be here now, without wishing you were further along? To be present for the layer you’re peeling back today, without judging yourself for not having peeled back more yet?
Nobody is “further along” than you. We’re all just different, on different paths, peeling back different (infinite) layers of ourselves.
What are you working on today? What are you peeling back for yourself? Come on over to my private Facebook group Women Who Empower Other Women, Unite! to share what you’re currently exploring and uncovering!
<3 Jessi Kneeland Get strong. Feel confident. Look amazing.
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