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{Transparent Tuesday} My brain is full of cotton candy

Editor’s note: These posts were written back when my brand name was Remodel Fitness. I’ve decided to include them here without editing them, in the interest of…well… transparency. 😉

My brain is foggy lately.

It’s not usually foggy, mind you, so this is a notable experience. Usually I feel clear-headed and sharp, and I can write late into the evening without a decline in productivity or clarity.

But not lately. Since I left Chiang Mai my brain has been kinda meh. I wake up fine, but then all my creativity and productivity rapidly flatten out and decline. By noon it feels like I’ve replaced my frontal lobe with dry ice, and literally nothing gets done past 3pm. By about 7pm I just want to go to bed.

So. Ok, here’s my transparent truth at the moment: My brain is behaving like a sleepy toddler. And honestly? I’m ok with that.

I’ve been embracing my brain fog the same way I embrace weight gain and loss, or emotional lightness and heaviness.

When I gain a little weight I say: great! Welcome belly rolls, now is apparently the time I have a little extra weight! When I lose a little weight I say: great! Welcome abs, now is apparently the time I have a little less weight!

Judging one part of a cycle as bad and another part as good means you only get to feel joyful for a small percentage of the time. Judging all the different parts of a cycle as good means you always have the opportunity to be joyful. And there is a certain amount of joy to be had within the uncomfortable parts of every ebb and flow, if you can accept and embrace where you are and what’s going on.

It feels kind of delicious to throw myself a proper pity party when I feel like shit about something, for example. This fall I actually enjoyed seeing my body go from lean and tight to curvy and womanly. There are so many lessons and opportunities for growth within the so called “bad” part of every cycle!

Which is why I’m not mad that my brain is basically filled with cotton candy after 3pm lately. I’m accepting and embracing this truth, instead of judging or fighting it.  I’m very grateful for the reminder that everything is a cycle, and I know my sharp and creative brain will return when it’s ready.

But in the meantime, it would do me a great disservice to compare my current fluffernutter brain with the brain I’m used to. If I did that, I would both be miserable and make poor decisions. If I based my actions on a version of myself I’m not, I would be stressed, self-critical, and ultimately very frustrated and disappointed.

You need accurate intel

This weekend I had the second Q&A call with my Empowered Women Project group, and one of the topics that came up was how difficult it is to accept the present moment in reality. We get so wrapped up in our minds about where we “should” be, that we totally reject the truth of where we actually are. And this causes major problems.

Imagine if someone felt like she “should” be able to run a marathon for example, and was really mad at herself for not being further along. She’s a lot more likely to take up a super-aggressive or advanced running program in order to hopefully build up to a marathon faster, because she’s fueled by the belief that she can “suck it up” and use willpower to make up for lost time.

This is an example of the poor judgements and planning that follows when you formulate a plan while resisting the current moment. You’re making decisions based on poor intel! When you reject the truth of your current moment and compare yourself to where you think you “should” be, you end up making plans that aren’t going to be successful.

It’s important for both your current joy and future success that you always embrace wherever you’re at today.

And when I talk about “embracing” I don’t just mean “objectively seeing that something is true” by the way

That’s definitely a good place to start, but embracing means you say “this moment is both true and exactly how it should be.”

Everything about this moment is exactly how it should be. When’s the last time you felt that way??

As soon as you judge a moment as bad or wrong, you remove the possibility to embrace and accept it.

Practicing being present will help you recognize the objective truth of the moment, but in order to embrace something fully, you must also practice accepting it as right. Until you accept it as right, you haven’t really accepted it. Until you accept something as “how things should be,” you’re still rejecting it. And rejecting something makes you feel frustrated, disappointed, self-critical, and unhappy.

All because you thought you knew a moment was “supposed” to be different. (Supposed to, according to what?? What makes you think you know something the universe doesn’t?)

So back to my gauze-filled brain. I could easily say “My brain is foggy lately, which sucks because I have stuff to do.” But instead I choose to fully embrace this rather than judge it.

My brain is foggy lately, which is perfect, because I need the time to transition into this life again, and emotionally/energetically let go of the last 6 months of international travel.

My brain is foggy lately, which is perfect, because that helps me re-assess and re-evaluate what’s really important to me, and dial in how I spend my mental energy.

My brain is foggy lately, which is perfect, because it serves as a reminder never to take the sharp and creative phases for granted, and to more deeply embrace the cyclical quality of my own creative process.

This is exactly how things are meant to be. This is exactly perfect; exactly right.

What are you rejecting or struggling to embrace lately? How can you let go of thinking something happening right now “should” be different? Come on over to the Women Who Empower Other Women, Unite! Facebook group to share your thoughts and experiences with us!!

Yours ever,

<3 Jessi Kneeland Get strong. Feel confident. Look amazing.

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