Editor’s note: These posts were written back when my brand name was Remodel Fitness. I’ve decided to include them here without editing them, in the interest of…well… transparency. 😉
I’ve been obsessed with bravery for as long as I can remember.
I used to think it was because I was more afraid of everything than everyone else was, though now I’m not sure if that was ever true.
I now believe I’ve been obsessed with courage because courage is what it takes to Become yourself.
It takes a deep and limitless well of courage to continue the work of digging deeper, healing wounds, speaking your truth, embracing your darkness, allowing yourself to love more fully, and stepping into your light.
The reason it takes so much courage to do those thing is because doing those things is fucking terrifying. Every single step we take outside the walls of our comfort zone, no matter how itty bitty, is scary as hell. What will it be like out here? What if I accidentally ruin everything that was so nice and good and safe back there in my comfort zone?
The work of Becoming yourself is about stepping outside those walls anyway, over and over and over and over.
Luckily, you already have that deep well of courage inside you. You might not have accessed it in a while, or maybe ever. You might not have a lot of practice at calling upon it. You might not even believe it’s there. But when you need it, it will be there.
The cool thing about courage is it only ever rises up exactly as high as is required to meet the challenge you are presenting it with. So if you’ve never needed a fuckton of courage, you’ve probably never experienced it. But it’s there. Like the superhuman strength that helps a mother suddenly lift a car off a baby, you have a reverse of superhuman courage just sitting there, waiting for you to call on it.
For this reason, I try to do things that terrify me as often as I can.
I like to prove to myself that the courage is there, and doing whatever scares me has been a life policy for me for as long as I can remember. I think of it as practicing courage. I’ve done so many things that pushed me outside my comfort zone, that at this point my comfort zone is pretty damn big.
Which means when something really scares the shit out of me, I pay attention.
Recently I did something that absolutely terrified me. It had been years since I felt so vulnerable, and in the midst of it, I suddenly remembered the power that comes with great feats of courage. It’s the power to utterly remake yourself.
The “you” that you were before crumbles when you’re terrified but take authentic action anyway. You will never again be that person, you are now someone new. You are reborn as someone strong, and powerful, and expansive. You are free forever from the chains of fear which might have kept you safe and small, back when you were this other person deciding what to do.
Sometimes the Terrifying Thing that demands all of your powerful courageous resources is actually tiny. Sometimes it’s just speaking your truth. Sometimes it’s allowing someone to see a new piece of your soul. Sometimes it’s letting something go, and sometimes it’s admitting what you want. Sometimes it takes all the courage in the world to open a door, and sometimes it takes all your courage to close it.
It doesn’t matter what terrifies you, what matters is that in facing it, you forever change something fundamental about who you are.
If you practice one skill as a human being, let it be courage.
Allow yourself to access the infinite well of bravery that lives deep down inside you, by giving it a reason to show up.
Follow your fears, and use your courage to heal and to transform.
What is the Terrifying Thing that you secretly know you must do? Be terrified and do it anyway. Watch yourself crumble. Watch yourself be re-made.
Yours in endless courage, <3
Jessi Kneeland Get strong. Feel confident. Look amazing.
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